英语笑话

ò.ιngˉ

one1)
        Half or Five Tenths?
        Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
        Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.
        Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
        Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
        半个还是十分之五
        老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?
        杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
        老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
        杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

two2)
        An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How      much this stuff?'
        'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.'
        The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.'
        'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
        'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
        一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”
        “七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。”
        老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”
        店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”
        “还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”

three3)
        A Good Boy
        Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
        "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
        "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
        "You’re a good boy," said the mother proudly.
        "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
        "She is the one who sells the candy."
        好孩子
        小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
        ”昨天给你的钱干什么了？“
        ”我给了一个可怜的老太婆，“他回答说。
        ”你真是个好孩子，“妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
        “她是个卖糖果的。”

four4)
       Isn’t it wonderful?
        "What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.
        "I broke a mirror," he replied.
        "But that means seven years of bad luck."
        "I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"
        这难道不好吗？
        “你高兴什么？”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。
        “我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。
        “但那预示着7年的坏运气。”
        “我知道。”他高兴地说，“这难道不好吗？”

five5)
       I want a nightmare
       Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust  dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
      想做坏梦
      在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。 据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。