生活大爆炸：让2人数小时爱上彼此的36问

Ｍ。

Set One
第一部分

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
如果你可以选择世界上任何一个人，你想让谁做你晚餐的客人呢？
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
你想出名吗？以哪种方式？
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
在打电话之前，你有没有排练过你想要说的话？为什么？
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
你的完美一天由什么组成？
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
你最后一次独自唱歌是什么时候？最后一次和别人一起唱歌是什么时候？
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
如果你能活到90岁，在你人生最后60年里，你想拥有30岁的大脑还是身体？
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
你有想过你会怎么死吗？
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
举出你和我的三个共同之处。
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
在你的人生中什么让你最感激？
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
如果你能改变你成长的方式，你会去改变什么？
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
用四分钟，尽可能详尽地告诉我你一生的故事。
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
如果你明天一觉醒来，拥有了某种新的品质或者能力，那会是什么呢？



Set Two
第二部分

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
如果水晶球能告诉你关于你自己、你的人生、未来或者任何其他事情的真相，你想知道什么？
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
有没有某样东西/某件事让你魂牵梦绕很久却没有实现的呢？为什么还没做呢？
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
你一生最大的成就是什么？
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
友谊中你最珍惜的是什么？
17. What is your most treasured memory?
你最珍贵的记忆是什么？
18. What is your most terrible memory?
你最糟糕的记忆是什么？
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
如果你知道一年后你会突然死去，你会改变现在的生活方式吗？为什么？
20. What does friendship mean to you?
友谊对你意味着什么？
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
爱情和感情在你的人生中起了什么作用？
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
分享你认为我身上的5个优点。
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
你的家庭多亲密？你觉得自己的童年比大多数人都快乐吗？
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
你觉得你和母亲的关系怎么样？


Set Three
第三部分

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
分别造三句“我们”的句子。例如，“我们同时在这个房间，感觉……”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
完成这句句子：“我希望我有一个能和他分享……的人。”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
如果你想和我成为亲密的朋友，请分享你认为很重要并一定要我知晓的事情。
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
告诉我你喜欢我的什么；一定要中肯诚实，不要说那些和第一次见面的陌生人就能说的泛泛之谈。
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
分享给我你一生中一个尴尬的瞬间。
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
你最近一次在别人面前哭是什么时候？被谁弄哭的？还是自己哭的？
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
告诉我你已经喜欢我的一点。
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
什么样的玩笑不能开？（如果有的话）
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
如果今晚你要死了，却没有机会和任何人交流，你最后悔没有告诉某人什么事？你为什么到现在为止没有说呢？
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
如果你的家（包括你的所有财产）着火了。在救了爱的人和宠物外，你还有时间安全地再冲进去捡回一个东西。会是什么呢？为什么？
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
家中所有的人中，谁的死会让你最不安？为什么？
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
我会和你讲一个很私人化的问题，请你换位思考告诉我如果是你、你会如何处理。你觉得我在面对这个问题的时候是什么感觉呢？

The last, terrifying, element of this experiment requires the two participants to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.
这个实验最后一个、也是最惊心动魄元素，是需要两位参与者对视4分钟。

If it sounds easy; it isn't.
听上去容易，其实则不然。
The questions begin gently enough: Would you like to be famous? What's your perfect day? Or when did you last sing to yourself?
这些问题的第一部分问的很有礼貌：你想成名吗？你完美的一天是怎么样的？或者你最后一次独自唱歌是什么时候？
But they rapidly become more personal.
但是问题很快变得更加私密。
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? And how do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
你有没有想过你会怎么死呢？你觉得你和母亲之间的关系怎么样？
The idea is to foster the atmosphere of mutual vulnerability and intimacy that a romantic relationship thrives on. Albeit by revealing to each other your deepest, darkest thoughts - the sort it usually takes a few months to admit (if ever).
这想法是通过营造相互脆弱感和亲密感，以此让恋爱关系不断发展。即使是通过互相透露出你最深最黑暗的想法，而通常需要花几个月双方才会承认（或永远都不承认）有这样的想法。

The 36 questions were published in a study by psychologist Arthur Aron called The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness.
这36个问题由心理学家亚瑟·艾伦发布在一项名为《人际间亲密度的实验一代》的研究中。
He tested the theory that it's possible to make two people fall in love by getting them to share intimate thoughts and memories. To prove this, he persuaded 52 sets of male and female strangers and 19 sets of female strangers to try it. Two of the participants entered a lab via separate doors, before sitting opposite one another and answering his series of ever-more personal and probing questions.
他测试过这个理论，让两个人通过互相分享亲密的想法和记忆从而坠入爱河的方法是可行的。为了证明这一理论，他说服了52对陌生男女和19对女性陌生人来测试。参加的两个人通过不同的门进入同一实验室，然后面对面坐，回答他一系列越私密和深入的问题。

Six months after the experiment? Two of them got married (and they invited the whole lab to the ceremony).
那在测试的6个月后会怎么样呢？两个人结婚了（而且邀请了整个实验室人员来到婚礼仪式现场）。
Aron's questions, which first appeared in 1997, are experiencing a bounce in popularity following an article in the New York Times by university professor Mandy Len Catron. She tried the experiement with an acquaintance.
艾伦的这36个问题首次出现在1997年，非常火。而之前大学教授曼迪·勒·卡朗在《纽约时报》中发布了相关的文章。她和一个熟悉的朋友做了这个实验。

The result? (Spoiler alert klaxon). They fell in love, of course.
结果呢？（剧透警告）当然他们相爱了。

The last, terrifying, element of Aron's experiment requires the two participants to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.
艾伦实验最后一个也是最惊心动魄元素需要两位参与者对视4分钟。
Catron describes it thus: "I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life".
卡朗这样描述道：我滑下斜坡，被一根短绳悬挂在岩壁上，却要盯着某人双眸沉默四分钟。这是我一生中最激动人心，惊心动魄的经历之一。
Fancy giving it a try?
想要试试吗？
So grab your potential love interest - or any willing particpant (that's half the battle, says Catron, just trying the experiment signals that you're open to falling in love) and get questioning.
所以抓住你潜在的恋爱对象，或任意愿意参加的人（卡朗说，这样就成功一半了，只要尝试这些实验，你就对爱敞开大门了）然后问问题。
You never know what might happen.
你永远不知道会发生什么。